Safety guide
You are about to trust a stranger with the most important decision of your life. This page is what to know before you do. It is not legal or medical advice, and it does not replace a lawyer or a clinic.
What we check and what we do not
Many people assume that if there is a platform, it must have checked everyone. It has not, so here is exactly what we do.
We check that the account is used by the person in its photos. You take a selfie and we compare it with your main profile photo. If it matches, the account gets a badge . Without a badge you cannot send likes or start conversations. Change your main photo and the badge goes, and you verify again.
We do not check documents. No passport, no ID. We do not know anyone's real name.
We do not run any tests. No medical checks, and we never see anyone's results. Whatever a profile says about health or genetics was written by that person. We did not check it.
We do not check criminal records.
The badge means one thing: the person is the same as in the photos.
Decide for yourself first
Answer these before you start talking to anyone.
- Do you want the child to know the donor? Straight away, at 18, or never?
- Who pays for what?
- Who will the child live with?
Our profiles ask these questions up front so you can compare answers before you spend months on someone.
While you are talking
Do not move off the platform. If someone pushes you to WhatsApp, Snapchat or Telegram in the first hours, that is not by accident. Snapchat comes up most often and it is the worst of the three: messages there delete themselves, so there is nothing left to attach to a report. Here you can block, report, and the conversation stays. You do not have to give anyone your phone number until you want to.
Do not give away what you cannot take back. Your surname, your address, where you work, your daily schedule, your card details.
With money, two different things get mixed up.
Compensation is normal. Some countries allow it and others ban it, so every profile says whether that person is altruistic, wants expenses covered, or expects compensation. Where compensation is banned, we simply do not show the subject. Agreed compensation goes into the agreement, is paid at agreed times, and usually goes through a clinic or a lawyer.
Asking you for money is something else. He urgently needs it for travel, for tests, for a visa, for a lawyer, or something has happened. He asks in crypto, gift cards or a transfer. Three rules: never send money to someone you have not met, never before there is an agreement, and never by a route you cannot reverse.
Ask the awkward questions. Why is he doing this? What does he expect afterwards? Has he done it before? Will he take tests and show you the results? Someone serious answers calmly. If a person dodges a direct question, that is the answer.
If something feels wrong, just stop. You owe nobody an explanation. You can stop replying, or block: blocking is instant, the person is not told, and the match goes too.
Before you meet
Have a video call first. It answers a lot, and the call runs inside the platform, so you do not have to swap numbers.
Meet somewhere with people around the first time. A café. Not a home and not a hotel.
Tell someone close where you are going, with whom and until when. Send them the profile.
Get there and back on your own. Your own transport, your own timing.
You can bring someone. Say so in advance. It will not bother anyone who came honestly.
Health
Both of you should be tested before conception, even if you get on perfectly. The usual list is HIV, hepatitis B and C, syphilis, gonorrhoea, chlamydia and HTLV.
Ask for a recent result and look at it yourself. The date matters as much as the result. "I was tested last year" is not a result.
A genetic test is worth doing. It happens like this: both people are healthy, but both carry the same hidden mutation. They are fine, and the child can be born ill. This test shows whether that risk exists. It matters most if either family has already had an inherited illness.
A clinic does this more reliably. They quarantine the sample and repeat the tests, which is not possible at home. The difference is not only medical but legal, and that is below.
The legal part
People skip this part and then regret it.
Who counts as the parent depends on the country and on how conception happened. The difference is enormous. In many countries a donor who went through a licensed clinic has no rights to the child and pays nothing. The same man, donating at home, can be recognised as the father, child support included. Same act, different setting, opposite outcome.
Whether the woman is married matters too. In several countries her husband automatically becomes the child's second parent, and then the donor has no relation to the child. If she is not married, the same donation can make the donor the father.
The agreement is written before conception, not after. What each of you wants, whether there will be contact with the child, who pays for what, who decides what, and what happens if someone changes their mind. In some places such an agreement has force and in others it does not, but either way it records what was agreed, which helps if there is ever a dispute.
See a family lawyer in your country before there is a pregnancy. One consultation is cheap and settles a lot. We are not lawyers and cannot tell you which laws apply to you.
How conception happens
Insemination at home. The donor hands over the sample and leaves, and everything else happens without him. Agree in advance who will be there, where it happens, and what to do if it does not work the first time.
If someone insists on conceiving through sex, that is a bad sign. Stop. You will be told it is more natural, more reliable or simpler. None of that is true, and here is why.
First, it changes the legal side: in many countries the man becomes the child's father, with everything that follows.
Second, and this matters more. You can change your mind at any moment, including the last one. You do not have to explain why. If a person treats your agreement to a donation as agreement to sex, he has already told you who he is. Leave, block and report him. You are probably not the first, and a report is the only thing that stops him.
If something goes wrong
Report from inside the app: the button is on every profile and in every chat. Confirmed reports lead to removal.